Don't let Meredith Grey stop you.

I was sitting down to type this blog late last night. My husband had resigned to his sinus infection and had crawled in bed by 9. My house was quiet, save for Meredith Grey who was somewhere in the background being profound. This is it! I told myself. I had a minute, a quiet minute and I was armed with a familiar itch to create something.

I want to be a blogger. There. I said it out loud. I spoke it into existence and now it’s another real thing that I have to feed and keep alive. I want to create writing that people read. I want someone to find themselves knee deep into my blog archives trying to find a post they remember from back in 2015 that said the thing about the thing. I want to maybe someday make money from it. I want part of my daily routine while my kids nap, to be sitting in an over-sized knit sweater, black leggings, dark-rimmed glasses and a pair of neutral-colored slouchy socks and have words flow from my fingertips like ribbons while I sit back and drink coffee like a middle-aged hipster. I want the things I say to mean something to someone.

As I sat there last night thinking about this giant, greasy tractor wheel of a task that I wanted to somehow heave into motion, I heard a voice again. Turns out, if you watch Grey’s Anatomy enough, your doubts and insecurities can be narrated to you in Meredith Grey’s steady and raspy voice. Weird, I know. She, true to form with her intentionally long pauses and purposeful fragments, reminded me of all of the writers who are better and more talented than me. People that I know. Writers who don’t need to ask SIRI how to spell words with too many syllables. Writers who can find a way to make the words slink and dance across the page like smooth, satin streamers compared to my familiar and stunted, tree trunk prose. She reminded me that thousands of blogs sit untouched and unread each year because, to be successful, you have to have something new to talk about, something original that people haven’t heard before. She reminded me that thousands of suburban housewives have cornered the market on Mommy Blogs and take far more appetizing photos of their innovative vegan dinner recipes than I could ever take of my dry Mac and Cheese and overcooked pork chops. Thanks Meredith Grey. I already know.  

          And then, I kid you not, for the first time in my life, I turned to my proverbial Meredith Grey.. which looked a lot like me staring at a wall.. and I slowly lifted my hand and flipped her off. And she shut up. I’ve now spoken this blog into existence. I’m going to keep it alive and feed it. Probably dry Mac and Cheese.   

What is something you've always wanted to do but your Meredith Grey told you you couldn't?